I Made The Decision

O. k..... so i made the decision to move back home to Dallas. It was bot an easy and hard decision. Hard because I had made a life for myself in San Antonio. been living here for 10 years, made friends, had plans, and there were still a few things i had left to accomplish. For example, i wanted to Graduate from Northwest Vista College. Why?? Because ever since i was dismissed from UT San Antonio, back in 05 and moved back to Dallas......I told myself that i was going to come back to San Antonio and finish some type of degree. Then when i moved back to San Antonio i attended Northwest Vista and i was or seemed to be on track for 3 years. I had a second chance at both school and a basketball carreer by attending Northwest Vista. I played 3 and attended 3 years at NVC, but i started to fall by the wasteside again - focusing on other things.  In short i wasnt focused and Im exteremely mad at myself for that.  Lookinng back it seems as if this deciosn is the best for me cause if i stay in this sitaution i will continue to probably stay in San Antonio and do the same thing for another 10 years.............and things will probabluy or have the ptential to get worse.  I was barely making it even with the two jobs i had and didnt have time for anything, my car broke down and i pretty sure all of  that and more was affecting me mentally physically, and emotionally

When i go back home to Dallas, i wont have to worry about a thing, I wont have to worry about bills, rent, jobs, how to get places, gas, food/ cooking. All that will be taking care of and i will be able to get back focused and worry about other things that i can be focusing on. plus my mom and would love tohave me back and it will be a joy to ber around little brother and sisters

I guess the only down side to this is that i have spent all of my adult life in San Antonio and it has become my home in that most eveyrthing i have done or made of myself as and adult had been in San Antonio. So many memories and special things to me here in San Antonio. I dont wanna leave but i have to.. If i were to compare what this feels like it feels like San Antonio is the world and bad stuff and my Dallas is heaven all good can come from it (my home) calling me to come back......and though i have an idea how heaven is i dont no i it actually will play out.  Funny how i know that home is my heaven cause  i called my parents telling them of my situationa and how i couldnt get back cause my car broke down...... Having no jobs anymore or way to pay my rent was my death to San Antonio my dad said he will come get me that weekend....so no matter how my "death" in san antonio may be i will always have an angel to come get me...... (someone in my family) I LOVE YALL!!!!!